Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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