I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I will die if light touches me.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
now i know why i became what i already was.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
