Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
