love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
