OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
