I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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