im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
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I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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