Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so let's talk penis.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
