It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
