Sry I called you an 8
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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