I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize