I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
