He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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