I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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