I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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