i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
