You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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