I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im calling her cock vulture from now on
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
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