No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
