Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
