I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
