You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Michael Bay diarrhea
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
