The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize