Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
