I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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