Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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