our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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