the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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