At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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