He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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