This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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