and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
