I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
