i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize