he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
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