I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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