I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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