Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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