Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
