Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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