Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
