She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
