I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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