Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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