Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize