hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
