and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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