you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
