flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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