i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
