Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
