she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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