I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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