if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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