i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
