I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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