i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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